When I was about six years old, I caught my poor dear Dad trying to be the tooth fairy. His big gruff hand woke me up from under my pillow. He told me to go back to sleep and we'd talk about it tomorrow. My parents sat me down and ripped the band-aid off. They said that they were the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, Santa Claus and that my Dad was adopted. That's right. All at once my parents dropped the information on me. I immediately forgot all about the fictional holiday characters, and questioned my parents to death about my Dad. Why was he adopted? Where did he come from? Why did his mom leave him? Grandma isn't my real Grandma? They did their best to answer my questions with all the information they had. It was never a secret to my Dad or any of his family and once I knew the truth I realized that it wasn't a big deal at all. My Dad has zero issues or insecurities about his adoption. He just says that his parents are the people who raised him, and that's all that matters.
Fast forward a couple of years. I was about 10 years old when my mother became obsessed with genealogy. She joined a local genealogical society and dove head first in to all resources and archives available. She was able to trace her family line back to the Revolutionary War. This is when I learned that my mother's grandfather had also been adopted. The strange part is he had the same birth name as my father, the same birth date.Weird, eh?
My Mom was certain that she could dig up my Dad's biological mother. He was reluctant. I'm not sure how she did it but she did eventually find my Dad's biological mother. I believe she went by the name "Bunny." My Dad had no interest in meeting her but said he was curious about our medical history because of some various health problems. My dad drove 3 hours to where she lived and they had lunch together at a greasy spoon. She said she had kids before him and had given them all up for adoption. My Dad was the last that she gave for adoption. She raised (I think) three children afterwards. She had been the singer in a bar band and my Dad's biological father would have been one of two brothers that were both deceased. When asked my Dad said he had a nice time and even got some photos of her but I always kind of knew he didn't want to be around her. When I became an adult I asked my Dad more about her and he said that she called him six months after they first met and asked him for money. He said he hadn't spoken to her since then and didn't know if she was still living.
Last Connection: My dear husband, Jon. When we started dating I was living with my Dad's parents, and my husband and I were going through my Grandma's photo albums with her. In a box she found a little blue books that said "CM" on it. These were my father's initials for his birth name. The book was kind of a baby book/album that the care-givers at the orphanage kept for the new babies. She opened it up and started reading cute little snippets from it. "He likes to eat by 6 p.m. or he gets cranky." ..."We think his favorite color is blue." that sort of stuff. My poor husband was terribly confused. I told him that my Dad was adopted and his mouth fell open. He looked shocked. He blurted out "My Mom was adopted!"
Yes, my husband and I both have one adopted parent.
My mother-in-Law's story isn't as happy as my father's and it's not my story to tell so I'll be brief. She had much older parents, they each had children from previous marriages. I'm not sure if they weren't able to have children together or if they wanted the "Yours, Mine, and Ours." Her older siblings were almost grown and didn't have much love or acceptance for the new adopted baby. My MIL says everyone in her town knew who her parents were except for her. The rumor has it that her mom was a teenager and unmarried and her father was the town's Sheriff. This was the early 50's so my poor MIL was born to a controversy she hadn't heard of. No one told her until she was about 40 that she had attended school with her half siblings from both sides. Her adoption records were sealed and she wasn't able to confirm any of the things she'd been told.
I apologize for the length of this entry but I wanted to share my family's bizarre Adoption Connections. I think I'll share a new story about dear Husband next time.
Best Wishes,
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